


Dreamers Can't Find Another Way

by terryh_nyan



Series: Halloween City [3]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Guro, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutation, One Shot, Supernatural Elements, Werewolf Turning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:44:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terryh_nyan/pseuds/terryh_nyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Honestly, Hinata–kun, I’m okay.” </p><p>Komaeda carefully examined his bandages as he spoke, shooting Hinata a vague sulking glance (to which Hinata responded by frowning loudly, his eyebrows clearly conveying that <i>no, Komaeda, you cannot take those off just to ‘look at them one more time’</i>). “You could’ve done worse.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreamers Can't Find Another Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raxilia_running](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raxilia_running/gifts).



> please forgive me
> 
> (many heartfelt thanks to i-demand-a-hug, without whom this fic wouldn't have been half as readable. bless her)
> 
> (and also bless raxilia_running for not kinkshaming me to the death)

“Honestly, Hinata–kun, I’m okay.”

Komaeda carefully examined his bandages as he spoke, shooting Hinata a vague sulking glance (to which Hinata responded by frowning loudly, his eyebrows clearly conveying that _no, Komaeda, you cannot take those off just to ‘look at them one more time’_ ). “You could’ve done worse.”

There was something of a wistful note in his voice as he sighed, almost like a soft scolding, and Hinata rolled his eyes until he could see the back of his skull. Leave it to Komaeda to feel sorry for having made it to the following night all in – more or less – one piece. The more he listened to his low-key complaints, the more he half-heartedly entertained the thought of letting him have that Worse he was pining on, and– was, was that a snappy remark he felt coming? _Was it_ now?

Hinata slapped himself mentally, forcing himself to remember _whose_ fault exactly it was that Komaeda was wrapped up like a sickly, battered present that might not make it through Christmas Eve. Drowning out the part of him which insisted that locking yourself in a room with a newly turned werewolf was _pretty much_ the kind of thing that made it your fault too, he made himself chug down all that crippling guilt, until he succeeded in feeling horrible again.

As he should. 

“Hinata–kun...” 

Komaeda reached out for his hand, and Hinata couldn’t help but flinch. In that moment, he felt as capable of gentle contact as he felt capable of handling the look that Komaeda was giving him – all concern and understanding and way more than Hinata deserved. Even his sudden movement wasn’t enough to discourage Komaeda, who gingerly took his fingers in his unbandaged hand and gave the lightest squeeze. 

“I could’ve done worse, you know.” Hinata couldn’t bring himself to look him in the eye and couldn’t bring himself to look away, so his eyes wandered aimlessly over the bandages peeking from the gaps in the quilt. Tanaka had given it to him, claiming to have personally woven it from phoenix down. Which was ridiculous for so many different reasons, but mostly because Hinata couldn’t possibly picture a creature so bright in their sad excuse for a town, where the sun only shone in pale dawns and bleak twilights. And yet, he still found himself clinging to the hope that, for once, he was telling the truth. Komaeda needed as many boosts in his recovery as he could get. 

God, he could still see the gashes. They winked at him from under the bandages, as if praising him for the good job he’d done. Ah, just a couple millimeters deeper, they seemed to pine, and they could’ve exposed bone. A couple more scratches, and they could’ve let him peek at the heart, ripe for the taking and deliciously pulsating. 

 _“It's okay,”_ Komaeda’s voice called from the back of his muddy memories, as Hinata’s eyes traveled over the bandages on his arm. _“You must be scared. You must be... so, so scared...”_

_A sharp intake of breath. “But it's fine, Hinata–kun. You don't need to be. Because, see,” a hand wrapped around his, tightly. Pressing down. Pushing further. “You can do anything you want to me.”_

Hinata shook his head, trying to banish the images from his mind, and only succeeding in shuffling them up, bringing another one to the surface as his gaze hesitated over the patch on Komaeda’s side. 

_“Nh... That’s it,” Komaeda murmured encouragingly against his ear, “That’s it, Hinata–kun,” he sighed, biting back a scream as sharp claws dug into the flesh just above his hip, and he glanced down, watching the blood soak through his shirt, down their intertwined fingers, with an intent, hypnotized expression._

“Hinata–kun?” Komaeda propped himself up enough to lean over. The bandages around his chest strained, catching his eye, and Hinata felt his head pound harder.

 _Dizziness was starting to veil Komaeda’s eyes, but he didn’t stop making soft sounds that occasionally turned raw and broken. “You can have... everything...” It felt halfway between a groan and a plea. Claws splayed across Komaeda’s chest, pressing him down against the wall, and it wasn’t until Komaeda’s eyes refused to leave his, challenging him,_ threatening _him,_ _that they started digging, hesitantly and desperately. “Anything you need...”_

“Hinata–kun, what’s wrong?”

_“You want my heart, don’t you? Werewolves... usually don’t need much else to... quiet down...” Under his palm, Komaeda’s lungs were pushing out shorter and shorter breaths. Barely quivering, if at all. “You can have it, Hinata–kun. I don't mind if you rip it out while it’s still beating... If I can be of... Any use at all... Ah... Hinata–kun, are you crying?”_

“Hinata–kun!”

Hinata’s eyes snapped open. He hadn’t even realized he’d closed them, shut them so tight his vision was filled with spots.

“I…” 

Komaeda was looking up at him, concern written all over his face. It was a heartbreaking mix with the flare of pain in his eyes, so obvious that it didn’t matter how much he tried to pretend he wasn’t feeling any.

Hinata almost couldn’t connect the sincere, caring person in front of him to the one in his memories, who'd calculated exactly which buttons to press to end up covered in blood on the floor. Who’d pleaded he tear his heart out. 

Almost. 

“…Nothing.” 

Hinata’d seen this side of Komaeda before. He’d seen it enough to know that, if he’d told him then that he’d been remembering every single thing about the night before, it would’ve led to an argument none of them could’ve won, and to reasons none of them could yet understand. And on any other day he would’ve still _tried_ , because it bothered him, no, _scared_ him to no end that Komaeda could be planning do something crazy to himself at any moment and he wouldn’t be able to recognize the signs until it was too late. 

He wanted nothing more than to talk about this, long and hard, until he could _scream_ in Komaeda’s face that he couldn’t just use him to kill himself, couldn’t just decide to sacrifice himself and have him be the murder weapon, couldn’t just _leave_ him to live with the monsters and the nightmares and the crippling sense of loneliness. And maybe he would’ve told him that he should take care of himself more – that he, too, deserved to live and breathe and walk the earth as much as everybody else, though it would’ve fallen on deaf ears. 

He would’ve told him over and over until he finally understood. And then, only then, he would’ve told him every single thing that he couldn’t say just yet, words he did not want turned to excuses for decisions that were Komaeda’s and Komaeda’s alone. 

There would definitely be a time to talk, he thought. To lay everything bare for both of them to see.  

But they would have to heal first. 

Komaeda needed to rest above everything else, and he was exhausted, too. However, there was one thing Hinata needed to say as soon as possible. 

“I was thinking…” 

His thumb found the back of Komaeda’s hand, still wrapped around his fingers, and started drawing idle circles on its paper-thin skin, feeling the bones right away. Even with what he was about to say, even with everything he’d _seen_ , he couldn’t help seeking his touch, the soothing warmth underneath his digits, no matter how bad his circulation was most of the time.

He was such a hypocrite. 

“…That if we can’t fix it before the next full moon comes, I don’t want you anywhere near me when I turn.” 

The words had come out harsher that he’d intended, he realized it immediately. Perhaps, though, it was better this way. 

Hinata tried to picture it: his body changing into something he didn’t recognize, something dangerous, in front of his eyes and out of his control, and no one there to talk him through it; to calm his fear and soothe his pain, if only for a few moments. 

It was going to be so much worse. 

But the alternative wouldn’t have been worth it, not in a million years. 

“…Hah, I see.” 

Komaeda was trying his best to appear neutral, but the lack of strength wasn’t doing his act any favors. Hinata was determined, though, and still had plenty of anger toward his idiot partner not to let his resolve waver because his heart was starting to crack. 

“I don’t want to put you in danger, Komaeda. That’s all.” He made a point of _caringly_ glaring at him, which he felt was a good sum of what he deserved. “And I still don’t know how much I’ve changed, or how much control I have over myself even when the moon isn’t full, so…” Hinata slowly extricated himself from Komaeda’s fingers, as gently as he could. “I think it would be best if we… if I didn’t touch you too much until you’re feeling better. And until I’ve figured this out.” 

“If that’s what you’re worried about, Hinata–kun, you really don’t need to–” 

“No, that’s precisely what I need to worry about. I can’t…” Hinata had to catch himself before he could reach for Komaeda’s hand again, clutching the rough fabric of the quilt instead, “I can’t risk doing this to you again.” It looked like Komaeda was going to object again, so Hinata pointed a finger at him and proceeded with his best impression of a scolding mother. “I don’t care if you don’t get it, I’ve made my decision.” 

For a brief moment, Komaeda’s eyes stayed wide with confusion. Hinata felt like he could see all of the conflicting thoughts and theories fighting for dominance, and wouldn’t be surprised if Komaeda concluded that he was just making up an excuse to distance himself from ‘someone like him.’ He hoped he wouldn’t. 

“You just... focus on lying down and resting up, ‘kay?” 

Hinata couldn’t tell if that had been the case; however, Komaeda must’ve decided one way or the other (or maybe he’d been wise enough to suspend his judgement on the matter), because he mustered up a smile and effortlessly replied: “You’re a stricter nurse than Tsumiki–san, Hinata–kun.” 

“You bet I am,” Hinata mumbled back, begrudgingly, because he kind of wished Komaeda would’ve been too tired at least to make fun of him. He was starting to feel that that would sadly never be the case. “So you’d better not argue.” 

The sinister glint in Komaeda’s eyes should’ve told him it wasn’t over. “I wonder what happens if I ignore my diligent nurse’s orders. Are you going to spank m–” 

“ _Aaaaaand_ visiting hours are over!” Hinata yelled, barely short of going _lalalalala_ with his hands against his ears. “Now sleep. I’ll be here if you need anything, so don’t worry.” 

Komaeda went for a theatrical sigh, but couldn’t help wincing when his chest strained against his bandages. Hinata had to fight the impulse to follow his partner’s example and start insulting himself out loud. “You’re so very confusing, Hinata–kun. First you say we must keep our distance, then you offer to climb into bed with me–” 

“Hush, I’m not climbing anywhere. I’m staying on this side of the covers, just to be clear,” Hinata pointed out, gesturing eloquently at the quilt for good measure, like he intended it to be their own personal Great Wall of China.

“Now, that’s a shame.” 

He would’ve bantered right back, weren’t it for the fact that Komaeda couldn’t help yawning those last few words. At last, he must’ve run out of energy to complain, Hinata thought, feeling more than a bit guilty but at the same time extremely relieved that he was finally going to rest. 

He waited for Komaeda to find a comfortable position under the covers, then curled up next to him at a safe distance. Maybe the quilt was more for his own benefit than Komaeda’s, he thought. Maybe it was giving him the illusion that Komaeda would have some protection, even against him. Perhaps even against himself. 

He was only planning to stay for a while, just until Komaeda fell asleep, only to later retreat to the living room and come check on him every hour or so. But the quilt was soft against his cheek, a rough kind of soft, like a worn out blanket that’s older than you are, and he didn’t realize he was falling asleep until he woke up the morning after. 

With Komaeda still breathing soundly next to him, hands intertwined through the covers between them, and their noses one millimeter away from breaking Hinata’s rule.


End file.
